This is my first post on this site. I wanted to do something to explain my point of view on something basic and had just written this for my personal blog. Enjoy 
My last post raised some discussion about the nature of labels and it’s a discussion I love to have. There are so many questions. What is the point of labels? Are they helpful? Can they fully describe our existence? Etc.
Firstly, I’ll lay out how I see labels. I see them as a way to ground yourself to an identity. It’s a way of saying “Hey, this label generally fits how I feel inside.” That’s such a great feeling. There are certain aspects of me for which labels do not exist. I cannot describe my body concept and it kind of sucks. There are four sexes out there, to my knowledge – male, female, intersexed and neutrois. None of those exactly describe the relationship I have to my body. Not having a label for my experience makes me feel kinda shitty. Although I know of at least one other person who has a similar ideal body, I don’t feel like I belong to a group. And as much as I don’t care as much as most, I want to be part of a group. I want there to be a group of people with a similar point of view that I can talk to about issues that arise. So that’s one key reason for having labels – knowing that there are others of you out there.
I also find labels to be highly stabilizing. It’s healing for me to be able to say “I am genderqueer,” rather than having no conceivable way to describe my gender. Because I feel so connected to this label, I have a community with history, support and others who experience similar situations and emotions. It’s something I can hold onto when the world denies my existence. Words are powerful. They are how we form our very thoughts. I would be lost without labels like genderqueer, queer, pansexual, ace, etc.
Outside of internal reinforcement, labels are also helpful to tell others who you are. If someone asks me who I am attracted to, having a label for my sexuality can be quite helpful. Sure, my sexuality can hardly be summarized with a single word but it’s a good place to start. Most people don’t need to know much more about my sexuality than “queer” anyhow. Do I really want to get into a huge discussion about my sexuality with everyone who asks? NO. I talk about this stuff too much already without the set-back of not having words to describe right off the bat.
But there are definite downfalls to how people use labels. Some people use labels not as a way to describe their lives, but as way to form those lives. What I mean by this is they say “I am this identity, therefore cannot feel this way” even when that does not accurately what is going on in their heads and hearts. There are plenty of people for whom the term “lesbian” fits perfectly. However, there are many cases of people saying “I can’t be attracted to that man (even though I totally am) because I am a lesbian.” Or having someone use the label “lesbian” even though they are dating men (and other folks who aren’t women). This becomes to be an even greater issue when the partner is trans, as there can be some misgendering. Now, I am not here to say anyone who fits this example is a bad person and definitely not policing this person by saying they are not a lesbian. I am simply noting that the label is not accurately describing the situation. Sometimes a single word does not explain someone’s entire life and this is fine.
I guess the point I’m trying to make is this: labels should never limit. If they do not express your life then they don’t fit. But they should fit you, not the other way around. So, yes, I love labels. I use them all the time. I not only love labels, but I love the ones I wear with pride. That is because they help me explain myself and provide me with community.
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