The Spectrum Cafe

OK, I admit it. I haunt the transgender and Gay/Lesbian sections of TOPIX and argue with bigots. I sometimes wonder why I do it. It certainly isn’t the nice people there. One of the more recent replies directed toward me:

See…this is what I am talking about. There is nothing other than opinions here. How can one win or lose. I say that you are freaks. And the majority of people in this world agree with me. So as you do in every other aspect of life, lie to yourself and call yourself a winner. In reality you are still messed up. And for the record, I don’t hate you. I just think that you are messed up freaks. You have done nothing to me to make me hate you. I just choose to stay the F*ck away from freaks like you. And keep my kids away from freaks like you. If my kids ever see you and ask me what that is, I’m telling them that you are a freak and escaped from the bearded lady’s exhibit at the circus. Now go find your d*i*l*d*o and sit on it for a while. You’ll feel better about yourself. Oh…and also…keep up with the affirmation….your doing great for a freak.

This particular poster was at first pushing the “deceitful transsexuals” meme but after I addressed his BS and called it what it was he started descending into the name calling and personal attacks. It’s a common trajectory in those forums. Once in a while you get people who sincerely believe the tripe they are presenting but when the truth is presented, and their ignorance, hypocrisy and prejudice are exposed, they start calling people names.

Part of the reason I answer these people is the belief that there are those who read but do not post there. People who might have more open minds than the haters and who need and benefit from the education I, as an educated trans woman, can provide. I’ve had some feedback from other TOPIX posters that this is the case, but it’s not very often I get such and I sometimes wonder if I’m doing any good at all.

But ya know, maybe I’m not being completely honest here. Maybe I do go there because of that kind of people. In TOPIX I get to answer these bigots which is very gratifying because I can’t answer those who I read about in the news. I can’t fight back against the companies who decide I am not good enough to work for them, not because of my qualifications but because of my medical history. I can’t respond to those who would drag a person to court after their beloved was killed in order to steal an inheritance. I have no way to confront the violent criminals who think it’s appropriate to assault or murder someone because of who they are. I can, however, confront their fellow travelers, the people who think the way they do and behave in the same egregious manner.

So, I guess the payoff is that I get to hit back and I view the pleasure I get from this with a smidgen of guilt. Hitting back usually just provokes another attack. Aggressive confrontation almost always creates a defensive reaction – for some people it is such a strong defensive action that they will begin to argue points they don’t really believe in, just to be able to push back.

I think I’ll keep doing it, however, never mind the guilt. It passes the time. If I had a paying job I would certainly not go there as often, or at all for that matter. I have other things to do that I like to do more. I really do feel I’m providing a valid counterpoint to the prejudice and ignorance, however, and believe my guilt will be counterbalanced by the good I imagine I do there.