Australian major parties fight for Gay vote, to a point, Trans and Intersex they’ll think about. Maybe.

On August 9, 2010, In Diversity, Gender Expression, Genderqueer, Media, Politics, Transsexual, news, By Battybattybats
In Australia we have an interesting situation with our current election when recently on a GLBT(I?) radio program the Shadow Attorney General George Brandis promised more than the current government has on improving matters for GLB(T?I?) people by making a commitment to including Sexuality and Gender Identity (maybe, as the Shadow Attorney General counts that as part of Sexuality apparently, but will the legislation?) in federal anti-discrimination legislation. http://www.cpod.org.au/download.php?id=4336 and yet at 5.52 on he says when asked about the ‘Sex Files’ report they’ll have to ‘look carefully’ at the Australian Human Rights Comissions reccomendations even though the report in question had reccomendations far below the Yogyakarta Principles requirements and catered to only parts of the Intersex and Transgender communities needs and that in the most minimal way possible. And it seems that sex marker reassignment is scary for their policies on relationships.

In other words they can’t make it easier to get your documents fixed, to allow Intersex kids to define themselves, to throw out unneccessary sex markers on documents with all the harm they do in all facets of peoples lives because it may make it harder to prevent marriage equality? That does seem to be what he said.

And the reaction to the case that’s mentioned next of a Trans Man’s cyst being denied state medical coverage because he wasn’t classed as a woman anymore but the condition is classed as a womens condition is far from adequate.

Both major parties have ruled out marriage-equality.

Even though the Prime Minister is an unmarried Atheist and her party has a Lesbian Minister for Climate-change and a senator who is  in a relationship with a Trans-man they are so scared of the religious right in marginal electorates that they have said they only support marriage between “a man and a woman”, with the changes they made in recognising relationships they changed the laws that reduced the pensions of elderly and disabled and unemployed same-sex couples who of course previously have been paying the higher tax rates of singles.

The Labor party has promised to streamline the various states and territories anti-discrimination legislation but have not yet promised to include sexuality and gender identity and expression. So that the conservative ‘Liberal’ party have promised this is interesting.. ah but they can’t promise to do it in the first term of course.

Labor has promised funding to address the massive suicide rate of Gays, of Lesbians, of Bisexuals… but what about Transgender Australians who face an attempted suicide rate of 37%-40% far higher than that of GL or B Australians? And what about Intersex whom it seems no-one is even bothering to count? http://www.starobserver.com.au/news/2010/07/27/gillard-to-fund-gay-suicide-prevention/28743 and theres important stuff in the comments about the organisation Beyond Blue. Here’s OII on this http://oiiaustralia.com/australian-labor-action-tackle-suicide/ note the response they got from the government, where they give their reason the most at-risk groups were the ones left off a list of a project that’s meant to prioritise the most at-risk communities!

So it seems that while both major parties do want the votes of the Gay Lesbian and Bisexual community and are willing to compete for those votes it’s very different for Trans and Intersex. Whose lives they aren’t concerned with putting effort into saving let alone improving.

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A guilty pleasure?

On July 21, 2010, In Empowerment, Gender Expression, Media, By Emelye Waldherr

OK, I admit it. I haunt the transgender and Gay/Lesbian sections of TOPIX and argue with bigots. I sometimes wonder why I do it. It certainly isn’t the nice people there. One of the more recent replies directed toward me:

See…this is what I am talking about. There is nothing other than opinions here. How can one win or lose. I say that you are freaks. And the majority of people in this world agree with me. So as you do in every other aspect of life, lie to yourself and call yourself a winner. In reality you are still messed up. And for the record, I don’t hate you. I just think that you are messed up freaks. You have done nothing to me to make me hate you. I just choose to stay the F*ck away from freaks like you. And keep my kids away from freaks like you. If my kids ever see you and ask me what that is, I’m telling them that you are a freak and escaped from the bearded lady’s exhibit at the circus. Now go find your d*i*l*d*o and sit on it for a while. You’ll feel better about yourself. Oh…and also…keep up with the affirmation….your doing great for a freak.

This particular poster was at first pushing the “deceitful transsexuals” meme but after I addressed his BS and called it what it was he started descending into the name calling and personal attacks. It’s a common trajectory in those forums. Once in a while you get people who sincerely believe the tripe they are presenting but when the truth is presented, and their ignorance, hypocrisy and prejudice are exposed, they start calling people names.

Part of the reason I answer these people is the belief that there are those who read but do not post there. People who might have more open minds than the haters and who need and benefit from the education I, as an educated trans woman, can provide. I’ve had some feedback from other TOPIX posters that this is the case, but it’s not very often I get such and I sometimes wonder if I’m doing any good at all.

But ya know, maybe I’m not being completely honest here. Maybe I do go there because of that kind of people. In TOPIX I get to answer these bigots which is very gratifying because I can’t answer those who I read about in the news. I can’t fight back against the companies who decide I am not good enough to work for them, not because of my qualifications but because of my medical history. I can’t respond to those who would drag a person to court after their beloved was killed in order to steal an inheritance. I have no way to confront the violent criminals who think it’s appropriate to assault or murder someone because of who they are. I can, however, confront their fellow travelers, the people who think the way they do and behave in the same egregious manner.

So, I guess the payoff is that I get to hit back and I view the pleasure I get from this with a smidgen of guilt. Hitting back usually just provokes another attack. Aggressive confrontation almost always creates a defensive reaction – for some people it is such a strong defensive action that they will begin to argue points they don’t really believe in, just to be able to push back.

I think I’ll keep doing it, however, never mind the guilt. It passes the time. If I had a paying job I would certainly not go there as often, or at all for that matter. I have other things to do that I like to do more. I really do feel I’m providing a valid counterpoint to the prejudice and ignorance, however, and believe my guilt will be counterbalanced by the good I imagine I do there.

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TransActive I: Reclaiming the Narrative

On July 15, 2010, In Diversity, Empowerment, Gender Expression, Genderqueer, Media, Politics, Transsexual, By Mercedes Allen

I’m sometimes asked how people can advocate for the trans community, usually by apprehensive people who have visions of standing out in front of government buildings with picket signs shouting slogans, or sometimes by people who are whipping themselves up into an energetic frenzy so that they can be as boisterous as possible.  The truth is that that’s only one form of activism (a kind of last resort, really), and the larger picture is, well, more mundane.  That is not to say it’s easier, it can be very complex at times, but in the end it’s… well… a different kind of drama.

I will get to a how-to, but want to discuss an important underpinning first, in this part.  This will also be one of the most basic yet invaluable things a person can do to be an advocate, without even having to be an “activist” in any way.  And in typical fashion, I’ll start in the most roundabout way possible, but with a point to it all.

(more after the jump)

(more…)

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Marla Bendini-when a son becomes daughter(from San Diego Gay & Lesbian News)

On June 29, 2010, In Empowerment, Gender Expression, Media, World, news, By javier

Notes from the World:
Marla Bendini — when a son becomes daughter
Nicholas Snow – BottomLine | Tue, 06/29/2010 –

http://sdgln.com/causes/2010/06/21/629-notes-world-marla-bendini-when-son-becomes-daughter

It’s no wonder that Singapore-based, 24-year-old transgender performance artist, painter and activist Mara Bendini developed a show entitled “Conversations Between Father and Son.”

As she explained, “I grew up with an elder brother and a younger sister. My dad was a pathological gambler and drug abuser and was hardly around. He spent much of his time in rehabilitation and prison. We looked forward to him coming home of course—we treasured whatever time we had with our father, knowing that it would not be long before he would succumb to his weaknesses and be forced to leave us again.”

She continued, “My mom was doing her best to take good care of us during these tough times, working night-shifts in factories, domestic cleaning for expatriates’ homes, and selling Tupperware and health products freelance on the side. We were mostly left in our maternal grandmother’s care. She took care of our meals and made sure we were safe.”

Surprisingly, for me anyway, Marla realized she was transgender at age 7.

“I was a rather active but effeminate boy and my family never made it a point that I’m a boy and I have to BE like ‘boy’. I was given freedom to express myself. I would sit in a corner for hours, drawing fantastic creatures and alternate worlds, play with dolls, dance in my favorite loafers, Mary-Jane’s and denim hot-pants as well as play soccer and catch spiders with the neighborhood boys,” she said.

“I was enrolled in a public school at six,” Marla added. “I realized that I was more comfortable with jumping rope and playing hopscotch with the girls. Boys started calling me names and for the first time, I realized that I am ‘different’ and that I am transgender—not that I was born in the wrong body, but rather, my gender expression was different from the traditional norms.”

About her process, she explained, “I came out as a gay man at 17 in college. There were already questions about my sexuality and I was tired of evading questions and rumors. On top of that, I am a terrible liar! I came out first to a few friends who were gay and decided to come out to everybody knowing that I would have the support if I needed them.”

“As transgender, I definitely saw myself as boy,” she revealed, “but having gone through the school system for ten years, I experienced and understood the social stigma attached to how I lived my life and was labeled a deviant in society. Sexuality aside, I tried my best to fit in with the boys in school, going through fads of hairstyles that were cool for guys at that time, playing sports and being more ‘butch’ in my dressing. I explored the possibility of embracing a ‘gay’ identity and keeping my appearance and general demeanor ‘male’.”

“After college, I was enlisted in the military,” Marla continued (military service is compulsory for male Singaporeans). Ironically, she revealed, “With the physical, emotional and intellectual maturity that was crucial during military training and lifestyle, I found confidence and strength to become who I really was. That’s when I started ‘gender-fucking’. It wasn’t about becoming a girl. In fact, it was almost revisiting the freedom I had in childhood and also, questioning social norms. I put on my first pair of denim hot pants in twelve years and went out. The response from people was exhilarating, because I’m 5 foot 10, I was bald, and I was wearing these pants, and everyone was just freaking out on the streets. I felt like I was finally back to the state of mind when I was just a boy and nothing else mattered except being yourself.”

“People started to compliment me,” Mara expressed. “They told me that I have nice legs. I progressed to using makeup and wearing high heels in public. I wasn’t doing ‘drag’. I was gender-fucking. When my gay relationships started to fail, I realized that the men I was with wanted a ‘girl’ in bed but wanted me to look like a boy. I found myself trying to ‘butch-up’ again and I started concealing my true identity again. I decided to cut myself off from gay relationships then and fully explore my identity as transgender.”

“I was working as a stage manager in a production, ‘Fight Club—A Chorus’, a live art theatre piece. It was largely a social commentary loosely based on Chuck Palahniuk’s ‘Fight Club’ and the director and associate performers wanted me to perform as well. After a decision to live full-time as a transgender woman in 2007, I took on the name ‘Marla’ after the female protagonist in the novel and went by Marla Bendini.” She added, “This decision was largely fueled by the realization that I was not attracted to gay, but straight men, or rather, straight men are more likely to be attracted to me than gay men!”

“When I first came out to my family as gay, they were upset,” Marla said. “More because they realized the emotional struggles I have gone through my life. My family accepted my gay identity but had difficulty adjusting to my gender expression at first. My gender expression was inviting social scrutiny and judgment and in turn, my family and friends had to deal with the stress as well. Also, my extended family and friends who got word about my transitioning were questioning my family and friends who knew, and not me, so I have to say it was a difficult journey for everybody.”

“The lowest point was when I was asked to leave the orchestra I was playing with for almost three years. The more conservative members of the orchestra had a discussion about my transitioning and came to the conclusion that my appearance was a distraction and possibly a disgrace to the orchestra and my choices were conform or leave. I chose to leave,” she said resolutely.

In contrast, she explained, “My highest point was however the saddest point in my transition. In March 2009, I had to send my dad, who had been sick for years due to drug and alcohol abuse, to the hospital for an unknown infection. The doctors said his vital signs were normal and that they would have to run some tests to see what was going on.

My dad wanted me to stay and accompany him in the ward. We started talking about my transitioning and he said he would support me if I choose to undergo sexual reassignment surgery in future. I explained to him that I do not intend to do so and I am happy the way I am now. However, he highlighted the fact that I will constantly be at a disadvantage because I am legally not a woman. He reminded me of the rejection I have faced but said that he understands my stand as a transgender but hopes I take SRS into consideration.”

She continued, “We left it as that and I went home that night. The next morning, my dad went into a coma and never spoke again. He passed away on 26th March 2009.”

In her amazing journey evolved the show, “Conversations Between Father and Son,” which is, as she explained, “a multimedia installation performance with paintings, paying tribute to my late father. It is my first solo exhibition in Singapore. The paintings ‘Marla’ were a celebration of my identity, my struggles, as well as the love and acceptance from family and friends. An important aspect of my exhibition is my performance. In my art, I always seek to communicate and to express. Through my performance, I hope to inspire the audiences to initiation conversations with their loved ones, just like I’ve done so with mine.”

“My mom, my brother and his wife and even my grandmother came down to support my exhibition and performance,” Marla shared triumphantly. “Even my sister, who was reluctant to attend initially because she thought the subject matter would be too emotional for her, came down on the last night to support my show. I think the presence of my family members gave the audiences a sense of love and acceptance that I thank for and treasure and my intention to extend this love through my art.”

As to what’s ahead, she concluded, “I want to create more works of art and be able to show and perform internationally as a visual/performance artist. Watch out for Marla Bendini!”

OK. I will! And you can to at MarlaBendini.com, for this story is truly just the tip of Marla’s iceberg.
_____________________________________________
http://marlabendini.com/

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Cisgender Nights In Canada

On June 23, 2010, In Erasure, Gender Expression, Transsexual, World, news, By Mercedes Allen

Some trans-related goings-on in Canada.

1) Newfoundland declines to include rights for trans people.

2) Quebecers rally regarding identification change issues.

3) Is the opinion of the Canadian wing of loudly trans-inclusive international LGBT organization on trans rights: it’s “not our hill to die on?”

4) Toronto City Council candidate participating in Trans March.

Details after the fold…

(more…)

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Labels

On June 10, 2010, In Gender Expression, Uncategorized, By Sinnyo

I keep finding labels and categories applied rather broadly to individual people, and as the recent furore about “transgendered men” going topless proves, their misuse can lead to a lot of prejudice, anger and general confusion. With this in mind, I decided to engage in a little gentle satire. Here I am in a tidy, Creative Commons-style nutshell for easy digestion and identification – just so you know where I stand:

LGBT: Transgender Male-to-Female Lesbian

The problem with labels is that they are both irrelevant and quite necessary, depending on the circumstances.

Mine is a personal blog, but even I have had to consider them as I wrote my ‘about’ pages. Fail to identify myself as transgender and I risk appearing ignorant. The fact I bear a masculine gender dysphoria too suggests that I’m not going to write much of interest to trans men. My labelling is almost a matter of convenience.

Despite all this, I find widespread encouragement of my belief that my transient gender will not define me any more than it might a cisgendered person.

A common theory is that we humans categorise and label people in the same way we form first impressions, and that these are activities to help us survive. If I spot somebody in a tracksuit and baseball cap, I’m trained by modern society to believe they may be an aggressive person, best avoided. If I’m meeting somebody I’ve heard called a gossip for the first time, I’m likely to hold a more closeted conversation. Many people have similar, negative reactions to those they know are trans or gay. None of this is right though, and ultimately the world becomes a more hostile place in which a single word can spark fear, anger or digust.

The “transgender” label is a rather unique one – quite harmless-looking on its own, almost as much as “cisgender” – but its very use suggests that a person does not fit into society’s top-most, binary descriptors. This tends to unsettle people far more now than “gay”, “lesbian”, “bisexual” and other labels pertaining to sexuality might. Yet it does achieve one very noble goal, as I touched upon in my article on pride – it allows similarly-afflicted people to find each other.

“Transgender” is quite a scientific-sounding label, but it has brought those who identify with it together, in much the same way that goths, Trekkies or photographers might hone in on their own particular niches. It is a keyword as well as a label, and has the ability to bring lonely and disaffected individuals in to information, new friendships and even interesting issues to ponder. It’s also made all the more important for being something we hope others cannot see. Goths have their appearance, Trekkies their conventions and photographers their art with which to identify each other, but it’s tricky to find other trans people or those interested in gender issues without hunting for the specific word – and while we trans people aren’t just out to swap something as mundane as makeup tips, reaching a community is nigh on essential for restoring your own sense of normality.

Used in that way, I can see the transgender label as one to be proud in – much like how “gay” is often used. I’m reminded of the campaigns to ‘take back’ hurtful symbols or labels, like the Nazi pink triangle or the controversial “queer” terminology (personally I dislike “queer” given its original meaning, but taking pride in a label you have had forced upon you is quite a marvellous thing).

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“. . . really a man.”

On June 9, 2010, In Erasure, Gender Expression, Transsexual, By Emelye Waldherr

In Creed v. Family Express Corporation (2009 Westlaw 35237), Chief Judge Robert L. Miller ruled that a transitioning trans woman was, for the purposes of the law, really a man. That Family Express Corporation’s actions because Ms. Creed didn’t follow the male dress code (from what I understand, she did follow the female dress code) her dismissal was justified and allowable.

Those three words, “really a man” are, some of the most hateful things I can hear because it completely flies in the face of my experience and personal narrative. It completely disregards my right to define myself and essentially insists that I’m a liar when I present myself in a feminine social role. This adds irony to injury when I consider how mendacious I felt when I still pretended to be a man. It was that sense of living a lie that provided a huge motivation behind my decision to transition.

When trans people are assaulted and murdered, trans panic defenses are grounded on the statement that, “I found out he/she/it was really a man and I freaked out because of that and I couldn’t help myself and . . . and . . . , etc.” The thought that the poor victim was “really a man” is held forth as justification for the violence. After all, it’s not OK to hit a woman! This idea is also the driving force behind the hateful TV ad that “Citizens for Good Public Policy” ran to lobby against the non-discrimination law in Gainesville, Florida last year. If someone thinks that trans women are really men in disguise it makes perfect sense to fear them, after all they are being dishonest about who the really are! Who knows what other crimes and perversions are in their minds?

When portions of the feminist community institute rules denying trans women’s entry to “woman only spaces,” justifying their prejudice using the “womyn born womyn” meme , and when we read trans women being described as “male to reconstructed females” it’s based on the fact that we were born male and that we are, “really men in disguise.” Again, a total denial of the validity of trans women’s experiences and lives, not to mention a violation of their deeply held belief that biology does not equal destiny. When gay men insist that a trans woman should just stop pretending and get over the fact that he’s gay, they fall into the same assumption: That the trans woman in question is really a (gay) man, not who they say they are.

If I meet someone new and they start talking to a mutual acquaintance about me, if that mutual acquaintance tells them, “yeah, but did you know she was really a man?” and then I get assaulted and/or murdered for supposedly deceiving people (because that piece of gossip was just tooo juicy to keep to one’s self) it’s the “really a man” belief that drives that anger. After all, if I was really a woman, there would be no reason to even discuss me in those terms.

When I’m out with my spouse and we meet someone who knew us before transition, it often happens that I’ll get a handshake and she will get a hug. Or I’ll get a hug and she will get a hug and a kiss on the cheek. This even happens with people who are dear friends, who support us and love us. Yet they cannot get that “really a man” thing out of their heads so they treat me other than the way they treat my partner. I’m not sure they realize when they are doing this or even consider how much it hurts and I’m not sure if they did realize it, that they would be able to change the behavior. That “really a man” thing seems to sit very deep in a person’s paradigm.

That basic assumption, the belief that men are men and women are women and they can try to be but aren’t “really” the opposite gender, is what drives all too much transphobia. Combine that with the misogyny that we see mixed in and it becomes impossible to not realize that we need more than just job protection under ENDA. We need Congress to amend Title VII itself to specifically and unambiguously include sexual orientation, expression and identity. Once that happens, we may still be considered really men in the eyes of many, but it will be, at least, illegal all over the country for them to hurt us because of it.

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Pride

On June 8, 2010, In Gender Expression, By Sinnyo

Javier has kindly invited me to write for the Café, despite my overwhelming newbishness! If I may introduce myself briefly, I go by the name “Sinnyo”. I started seeking NHS help with a possible M-to-F transition last year, and have been writing about my personal experiences since then.

I’ve been thinking a lot about Pride, with and without a capital “P”. Pride is keenly linked to LGBT society, and I shall be attending a local event, my first, in a few months’ time. Almost everything about this step in my journey, and in my decision, weighs heavily upon my mind.

Pride, as I understand it, works on two fronts: to highlight the campaign for LGBT rights, and to help instil pride into its community. I admire that duality about the event, however I realised only recently just what the pride aspect actually meant. I’ve spent much of my life confused, and for a long time I had no idea that my feelings were quite normal within a transgender spectrum. Just as it hadn’t occurred to me that I might be transgender before, it feels strange now to consider Pride as a form of therapy.

Much of my journey has taken place online – seeking out blogs, watching YouTube videos and reading books, all of which leave their marks on the social websites I use. Just as I might add a music video or funny article to my shared items, so too may I add one of SamanthaZero34‘s compelling vblogs to my favourites. Every such move has the potential to ‘out’ me, however, even if exploring such media would make a fine education for the curious and cisgender person.

When I read up about Pride events, and my local one in particular, I hesitated over joining the social media groups for this very reason. It’s one thing to express an interest in compelling social issues – quite another to ‘suddenly’ announce your participation in Pride. I worried about the impact this might have on friends and colleagues, many of whom I haven’t yet spoken to about my gender dysphoria. But this is exactly what Pride is for.

Only a handful of people know about the real me – the self I’ve always cradled in the back of my mind. I sometimes emerge from my bedroom in ‘true form’, to scamper about an empty house. This early on, while I’m still waiting on consultations with specialists, I still don’t feel great about doing so, so secretive are those moments. I’m ashamed not to have shown anyone the self I so crave, but I’m scared to fix that. Pride has felt quite distant to me indeed.

Then I browse my local Pride Parade’s website – its photos, ideals and associated online groups. Far from ashamed, I feel awed and excited. I feel the urge to join in, and not just because I know I’d be accepted there. I think there’s something infectious about seeing pride in other people. I have secreted moments about my house and the occasional company of some very supportive friends in which I can feel most like myself, but I can see myself blossoming at Pride too. To take a day in public in which I am encouraged to be who I am must surely be an awesome tonic – but it’d be nice if I could bring some of that energy home too.

Perhaps that too will come, in time. For now, I’m proud to have included my local Pride event in a roster of Facebook groups and Delicious links.

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Hope Resides in the Genderqueer and Transgressive

On May 30, 2010, In Diversity, Gender Expression, Genderqueer, Transsexual, By Mercedes Allen


As time goes on, something happens to a transitioned transsexual.  It has a lot to do with why the transsexed side of the trans continuum tends not to have many long-term advocates.

I first came to realize it over a discussion with someone long transitioned who was still involved with the LGBT community, but it was largely forgotten that she’d had a trans history.  Although the cerebral knowledge and empathy for trans issues were there, the memory had faded to the point where it was hard for her to recall the experiences personally, where it seemed to her as though everything had happened to someone else.  This is not a bad thing — for those of us who transition, it’s the whole point: to put the years of hiding and fakery and anxiety behind to finally be able to start at square one, build a life that fits for oneself, and leave the anxieties and depression behind.  She had accomplished that, and I realized early into my advocacy that there was likely a certain amount of inevitability to at least some of that.  It’s like anything else support-oriented: eventually you accomplish what you’d hoped for, and move on — a necessary part of the healing.

(continued below the fold)

(more…)

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